Damn, I was just watching a Mina Le video ('the luxury of privacy & the celebrity vs. influencer paradox' if you're curious) and she just brought up so many good topics I have thought about, but I can't put into words.

Like how in the early internet days you'd sign in to messenger and people would talk to you THEN. You weren't available 24/7 like it is now. I think that's one of the things that make modern living so stresful. I DON'T want to be talked to, or interacted with, unless I consent to it, but of course this is a pretty hard thing to determine. You can't exactly ask everyone you talk to "do you consent to talking right now?" but I honestly would appreciate it if we didn't all have to be so extroverted all the time. I feel exhausted, social media makes me exhausted, looking at other people on social media makes me exhausted, seeing other artists struggling makes me exhausted, hearing about other artists experiences exhausts me. Everything makes me tired instantly. I don't want to know anything or be bothered about anything.

and I don't think that's because I'm introverted or mentally ill or whatever, no, I think the way we now live our lives IS so exhausting that I can't fit anything else. Of course, today is just a particularly exhausting day (how many times can I say the word?) spent most of it trying to customize html and css on a website that doesn't really let you access it, so you have to just guess at what you're customizing but I digress

Another great point she brought up from an article is how kids being raised by screens is really detrimental to their health. This is a gigantic topic but it does worry me for the kids to be honest. I cannot imagine the damage it does to a young brain to experience everything through a little device because parents can't be bothered to raise you themselves

and lastly she brought up how artists have to sell themselves as a product in order to make sales. How you have to record yourself creating (in an aesthetic way of course) so people like what you make. This is something I sort of struggle to put into words and something I definitely want to talk about more. It is disheartening to see how the artist community has shifted. I'm not great at art but I really do enjoy my alone time, I like creating without thinking about how to market (in fact I quit posting art on social media this year) and it is how I remain happy and peaceful in life. It's so sad to see people throwing all that away, and of course it's not really their fault, I'm not blaming any artist for following trends or making vapid art, but capitalism is destroying even the most sacred rituals we as humans have.

Art of course is nice to share, nice to appreciate but many have put the need for engagement above the meaning behind creating art. What's the point in art whatsoever if it's only made to satisfy the masses? If the artist makes it without their soul? What do we make art for if it needs to be sold to be valuable? What about the paintings I made hanging in my bedroom, are they not art? or are they sacred because no one but me is consuming them? What is art that no one sees, but also what is art that's been perfectly manicured to be liked. What is art that will never be hated, and never be loved. What is art that doesn't evoke any emotion?

Personally, the last thing I wanna do is try to build a brand or market myself, it's not for me